The Social Side of Stress: Carly Simon's Courageous Moment
The Social Side of Stress: Carly Simon's Courageous Moment
Stress and anxiety are often misunderstood—related but not identical. Interestingly, both can enhance our sociability under certain circumstances. Carly Simon’s courageous moment on stage exemplifies this beautifully.
During a memorable performance, Carly faced an overwhelming anxiety attack. She had a choice: leave the stage and disappoint her audience or share her vulnerability and risk their rejection. She chose the latter, and to her surprise, the crowd responded with resounding support.
This moment highlights the “Tend and Befriend” response, a social stress mechanism that contrasts with the well-known fight-or-flight response. Rather than triggering inflammatory reactions, the Tend and Befriend response releases oxytocin and progesterone, fostering care, compassion, and connection. Carly’s choice to share her truth created a collective moment of transformation and deepened the bond with her audience.
Her story reminds us that flexibility in how we handle challenges—not perfection—is the key to thriving. This is a cornerstone of my Flexible Wellness for Real Life approach.
Stress Is Not Anxiety
Stress and anxiety, while closely linked, are not the same. Here are some key differences:
Stress is a response to external stimuli, often tied to specific situations. It tends to subside once the trigger is addressed.
Anxiety is more generalized and persistent, often arising without a clear cause.
Quick Comparison:
Definition: Stress is a reaction to an external challenge, while anxiety is an ongoing sense of unease or fear.
Duration: Stress is typically short-term, whereas anxiety can last longer, even in the absence of a clear stressor.
Focus: Stress tends to be situational, while anxiety is more diffuse and generalized.
Symptoms: Stress may cause tension, headaches, or digestive issues; anxiety often includes restlessness, fatigue, or muscle tension.
Understanding this distinction helps us manage them more effectively.
Stress can often be alleviated by resolving the specific trigger or engaging in calming practices like breathwork or mindful movement.
Anxiety might require longer-term strategies, such as cognitive reframing, journaling, or consistent support.
Stress and anxiety are closely tied to two key aspects of wellness: stress management and social connections. Both are part of the broader 5 Modifiable Lifestyle Factors (5MLF)—areas where small, intentional changes can lead to profound improvements in well-being.
Why This Matters to Me
As an anxious teen, Carly Simon’s bravery fascinated me. How could someone so admired and accomplished also experience fear? It taught me that we can feel scared and still step into vulnerability.
True wellness isn’t about eliminating fear but embracing all aspects of ourselves, even the uncomfortable parts. Carly’s story reminds me—and hopefully you—that courage and connection often grow from honesty.
This insight is at the heart of my Flexible Wellness for Real Life philosophy. By focusing on manageable steps, like reframing stress or leaning into social connections, we can adapt our wellness routines to better align with life’s realities and challenges.
Finding Strength in Vulnerability
Carly’s choice to share her truth gave her audience a chance to connect deeply, showing that even in fear, we can find profound strength.
Here’s how you can explore this in your own life:
Practice the Tend and Befriend Response: When stress arises, try shifting your focus toward connection. Call a trusted friend or engage in an act of kindness—it can release oxytocin and help reduce feelings of isolation.
Reframe Vulnerability as Strength: Journaling about moments when you were honest and received support can help build confidence in embracing vulnerability.
Lean Into Connection: Whether through a community, a coach, or loved ones, sharing your experience can foster meaningful relationships and reduce stress.
Stress and social connection are just two of the 5 Modifiable Lifestyle Factors that shape our well-being. My approach helps clients make small, intentional shifts in these areas and others—nutrition, sleep, movement, and mindset—to create routines that evolve with life’s transitions.
So, as we each navigate stressors in our lives, I ask: How have you found strength in vulnerability?
Take a moment to reflect: When have you found strength in vulnerability?
Write it down, journal about it, or share it with someone you trust.
With you every step
Xx
Jessica